Considering dating a Vietnamese girl? We give you the lowdown on what you can expect.
With natural elegance and beauty, Vietnamese women are known for the way they pamper and adore their men. Though getting past first base can be tricky (unless you are paying for it), the benefits of hooking up with a Vietnamese girl are obvious.
In this guide, we take a look at what sets women from Vietnam apart from their Asian sisters, what you can expect when dating a Vietnamese girl and how to go about hooking up with a hot girl from Saigon or Hanoi.
What are Vietnamese Women Like?
The Asian ethnicity has many similarities across the region but each country has a very unique and subtly different look. So, whilst Japanese women and Korean women have some similar physical characteristics, there is no mistaking the two if you know what to look for.
We hate to generalise but the average Vietnamese woman will have straight black hair, dark eyes, pale skin, high and defined cheekbones with a petite frame and small breasts. However, Vietnamese ladies do not have such a flat face as their Chinese cousins, nor the same pronounced flat teeth of Japanese ladies. Having far more in common with a Thai girl, the average Vietnamese girl sports some of the best physical features of Asian ladies.
Vietnamese women are among the shortest in Asia, averaging at just 152.2cm (5’0”) and have an average cup size of A (52% of Vietnamese women).
In Hanoi and Saigon, girls can have had cosmetic surgery to increase the size of their breasts (particularly those that are professional working girls) and pay far more attention to fashion than girls outside of these locations. Saigon is much more liberal and these fashions can be pretty revealing and less conservative than you might expect – and we’re not talking about working girls here.
Overall, you will find Vietnamese women to be naturally feminine, attractive and petite.
It would be hard to describe an entire nation of women in one sweeping statement so we’ll try to give you a flavour for what to expect from a Vietnamese woman in terms of personality.
In many of the big cities, the local girls have been raised on a diet of Western culture and can be bold, self-assured and independent. However, there are inherent cultural traits in even the big city types which are both charming and endearing. Tradition dictates that men are providers and that they conform to a typical role of being a gentleman. In return, Vietnamese girls tend to be very loyal, quite possessive of their men which can be construed as being ‘clingy’.
Most girls are open books and what you see is what you get; only the well-versed professionals have the capacity to ‘act a role’ all the time. Those that try it are easy to spot as fakes and either need a wake-up call or avoiding like the plague. You know the type, girls who act demurely and fawn over you one minute but are different when the money dries up.
Attitude to Sex
For most Vietnamese girls who are not trying to get laid for money, sex on a first date is a no-no. Though they may appear to act Westernised, they also know not to give the milk away with the barn. If you are staying in the country for a while or they have designs on you for a long term encounter then it is not just cultural but common sense to make you play the waiting game.
However, they also know that if they make you wait too long that you will find another pretty Vietnamese girl who will put out. It’s a difficult line for them to play but most do it with aplomb like they were born into the role.
Working girls are different (obviously) and are eager and willing lovers who accommodate standard sexual requests as well as many kinks and extras.
Dating Culture in Vietnam
The first thing to know about dating in Vietnam is that men can be treated like kings (certainly Western ones who, cynical or not potentially hold the key to a better life). Don’t be fooled into thinking that makes you a god, but it does give you a certain amount of power but with great power comes great responsibility.
Firstly, you are the provider. It’s not expected that she will pay her way for anything and, if you are serious about dating, you will need to prove that you can afford to keep her in a way in which she has been accustomed.
Men are expected to make all of the moves with Vietnamese women. Letting a woman make the first move or make the advances is against their culture and will leave your lady feeling cheap.
Remember, if you are ‘dating’ and not simply on the lookout for short time loving then you won’t get past first base on a first date. It’s just not done.
First dates can be odd if you compare them to any you’ve had before. Vietnamese women will crank up the romantic flirtations until it’s time to go home; you will likely want to extend the evening with some physical intimacy but she generally wont. The usual line is that she just wants to be ‘friends’, though what she means is that she doesn’t want to put out or get too amorous too quickly. Don’t be despondent about it but respect the cultural difference and your patience will be rewarded.
Being gentlemanly is a must. Most women the world over appreciate the little things out of respect but Vietnam is not an egalitarian society and women are still traditionalists at heart, enjoying the time-honoured routines of a courtship that has the finer edges. Western chivalry goes down very well in Vietnam.
Once you have had a couple of dates and slept together, you are now officially dating so you must understand that you will have become her ‘possession’ as a result. Whatever sweet thing she seemed to be over dinner that first night could become a thing of the past if she sees you with another woman, flirting or even texting home. Not all, but many, Vietnamese get quite jealous of their western ‘boyfriends’ and may attempt to ‘test’ you using friends to try and entrap you into infidelity.
However, when you do finally get to the sex, you will find that Vietnamese women aren’t prudish or shy. They enjoy sex and are quite adventurous compared to their Western counterparts.
How to Hook Up with a Vietnamese Girl
So, if you simply want to get your rocks off with a Vietnamese girl then both Hanoi and Saigon have red light areas where you can employ the services of a professional. However, if you want to hook up with a local lady for something with a little more longevity then here’s how.
Pre-Arrival Hook Up
If you know when you intend to be in the country then it is worth using a website like Vietnam Cupid to do some advance research and profiling to arrange a few dates beforehand. The advantages of doing this are pretty obvious; you don’t waste any time when you arrive looking for a suitable woman plus you save extra time by having already found out some of their background.
The site is simple to use and is free to join and, if you upload a photo within the first hour of registering (or by linking your Facebook account) you will get an hours free premium level access.
Using an advanced search you can find potential matches based on age, location and what she is searching for (marriage, casual dating or friendship).
In order to set up your dates and make meaningful contact with any of the ladies listed online you will need to upgrade your membership. The monthly fees range from $15-45 depending on how long you commit for.
We’ve talked about the benefits of using the service so you also need to be aware of the downsides. When you meet your dates in Vietnam, each of the girls will know where you made contact and will naturally be curious (and maybe jealous) of your meeting other women.
If you end up dating one particular woman then don’t be surprised if she acts funny around you using our mobile or laptop. There will be an assumption that you are using Vietnam Cupid to arrange other dates. If you are serious about one particular lady then you may need to prove to her that you’ve closed your account.
On Location Hook Up
There is no shortage of single girls in Vietnam, particularly in the city.
Many girls specifically relocate to areas where Western men are found in great numbers to improve their own chances of a hook-up. Simply by leaving your hotel room on your own and plonking yourself in a bar will be enough to attract attention of some kind. Naturally, some of this attention could be from players, professionals or even ladyboys but you take your chances.
Your best chances of success in any hook-up situation in Vietnam is to be conspicuously single in places where there are lots of other Western men.
Expat communities are good for this as well as tourist bars. If you are flying in alone, all the better but if you are in a group of other guys then try not to be intimidating; you may like to hunt in packs but girls (generally, not just in Vietnam) don’t like to feel like prey.
Remember what we’ve said about the courtship rituals; two is company and three is most certainly a crowd. If you’re serious about dating a Vietnamese girl then go it alone.
Feature image courtesy of Flickr.
Interested in More of Asia's Hidden X-Rated Secrets?
We have published 14 country profiles, 18 local city guides, and hundreds of hours of research for your reading leisure. It's all 100% free. Get started with our quick links below...