Bright lights flicker over a crowded Khao San Road beer bar as a sunburnt backpacker fumbles with his phone, swiping through Tinder matches…
You can imagine the scene.
Down the street, another traveller clinks his Chang beer tower at a hostel bar, eyeing a rag-tag backpacker across the beer pong table. From party hostels and beach raves to dating apps and go-go bars, the post-COVID backpacker trail in Southeast Asia has certainly returned to form… a melting pot of casual flings, “holiday girlfriends,” and the occasional drunken shag in a sea of bed bugs.
Ever feel like you’re missing out? Wondering what really goes on backpacking in Southeast Asia?
Well, times are changing…
If you’re fresh from watching The Beach and eyeing up a slice of backpacker hedonism… you might want to get on the plane fast.
Gen Z wanderlusters are doing things differently.
Full Moon Flings and Hostel Hookups
This part of the world has a big reputation for hedonism. There’s no denying it.
On any given night in a party hostel – be it Slumber Party in Thailand or Mad Monkey in Cambodia – the line between fellow traveller and fleeting lover blurs fast. Real fast…
The cheap drinks act as an obvious lubricant, then the pub crawls and drinking games set a tone where making out by the pool or stumbling into a dorm bunk together feels like part of the itinerary.
“Speed dating, drinking games, foam party and sex in the pool of Mad Monkey Cebu City, Philippines, all in 1 night,” one traveller bragged of a particularly productive eventing on the tiles.
Is this really what happens?
To be clear, hookup culture on the road has always been a backpacker rite of passage. Nobody admits to it when they’re planning their ‘gap year’ of self-discovery… but I’d fucking hate to be the spouse/partner of somebody disappearing through Heathrow Departures not to be seen again for three months.
Hostels are at the heart of the hedonism, giving complete strangers the temptation to become something more in the night. With dozens of young revellers thrown together under one roof, hookups can feel as inevitable as mosquito bites in the tropics. No need to worry about a Walk of Shame if you’re out of there at 5AM regardless.
That’s not to say it’s all smooth sailing (or that every traveler is looking to score). Dorm-room dalliances remain a controversial topic.
Some backpackers roll their eyes at those sneaking back to the 12-bed dorm for a steamy bunk-bed romp.“Dormitory sex is… an expected part of the hostel sex scene… That doesn’t make it any less lame,” notes the BrokeBackpacker. Especially if you’re getting lucky just mere feet away from your sleeping roomies…
Plenty of hostels post cheeky signs discouraging “midnight Olympics” in shared rooms. Many savvy travelers will instead splurge on a private room when things are heating up – “If you meet a girl and think you could get laid, get a private room for the night. You (and her) will thank you for it,” one experienced globetrotter advises.
Yeah, no shit.
In the post-lockdown era, Gen Z travelers seem to be picking up right where their millennial predecessors left off – perhaps with even more gusto, having been cooped up for two years.
Hostel staff report that once borders reopened, the party picked up “like it never left.” Young backpackers, newly freed, are approaching the Southeast Asian circuit with pent-up energy: buckets of alcohol in hand and inhibition left at the airport. One 31-year-old who returned to Thailand noted hostels full of “a really young crowd (18-25)” ready to party hard.
That tallies with what we’ve seen, too. Gen Z might be staying sober back home, but it’s an absolute monster once it enters Holiday Mode.
How Apps Have Changed The Backpacking Experience
One thing that Leo didn’t have in The Beach was a swipe app.
In the age of Tinder and Bumble, today’s backpackers often line up their beach dates before they’ve even packed their bags. “Tinder is a must-have app when you are traveling solo… for dinner companions, personal travel guides, and the occasional hook-up,” as one travel blogger puts it.
Personally, I think it’s a bit of a shame that we’re having to rely on apps in what used to be known as the ‘ultimate environment’ for mingling with strangers. But here we are…
With Tinder’s location filter or Passport feature, some backpackers often start swiping before the plane even lands. It’s not uncommon to have a “preloaded” roster of matches to grab drinks with in each new destination – part social networking, part dating, part travel intel exchange.
Of course, experiences vary.
Some paint the Southeast Asian app scene as a complete candy store for Western visitors (they’re not wrong), and Reddit is often a playground of conquests, field reports and gleeful bragging.
- “Hookups were super easy for me in SE Asia,”
- “Asia Tinder has gotten me the best results compared to Europe,”
We’d caveat this with the advice:
Don’t expect locals to be throwing themselves at you.
The truth likely lies somewhere in between. In big cities and backpacker hotspots, plenty of locals are interested in meeting foreigners. But if you’re going to party like a backpacker, you’re much more likely to score with a fellow traveller than a bemused local.
Your destination plays a key role, too.
It’s well know that Western guys often find a raft of matches in countries like Thailand or the Philippines, with many reporting that their profiles get an ‘algorithmic boost’ simply by virtue of being a foreigner.
It’s not just the guys that are leveraging app-tech, though.
According to a recent Vogue report, women are using Bumble and Hinge in “travel mode” to line up local dates who double as informal tour guides – with a fling as a possible bonus.
With 71% of solo travellers now female, apps are helping rewrite the rules for how women explore and connect abroad. Those dynamics also play into the ‘supply and demand’ on the road.
Whatever the case, most backpackers would agree on one thing: Tinder et al. are a convenient shortcut to meet people beyond the hostel bubble.
Sex Work and the Holiday Girlfriend
It goes without saying, on a site like Asia Sex Scene, we are fully aware of the potential for trysts where money changes hand.
Sex tourism gets a bad reputation… and many backpackers have, well let’s just say, a negative impression of anybody who would pay for sex on the road. But here’s the thing: paying for sex in Southeast Asia isn’t always about seediness or desperation. For some backpackers, especially those rolling solo through sleepy beach towns, it can feel less transactional and more like outsourcing companionship.
Enter the “holiday girlfriend” phenomenon.
Rather than a one-off bar fine and a curt nod goodnight, some backpackers (admittedly those with fatter wallets) will negotiate day-rates with freelancers or bargirls who promise girlfriend-style company: late-night chats over street-food stalls, help navigating the local language, even joining for temple visits(!).
Thailand, with its infamously laissez-faire approach to prostitution (despite technical illegality), remains ground zero.
In Bangkok, it’s easy to stumble upon go-go bars teeming with women (and ladyboys) in barely-nothing outfits calling out to passing travellers. Prices are cheap compared to Western sex industries, which is all part of the draw. Typical bar fines (the fee to take a bargirl out of the bar) run around 300–500 Thai baht ($10–$15) in many spots.
For some backpackers, hiring a sex worker is a deliberate adventure: a transactional thrill to be checked off the travel list.
And yeah… others stumble into it, despite swearing blind they wouldn’t.
Picture the tipsy 20-something on Bangkok’s Khao San Road who finds a pretty local girl hanging on his arm with the other draining his Beer tower; if she’s especially into him and suggestive within minutes, chances are she expects some kind of compensation.
As one Reddit sage jokes: “If the girl has her finger up your bum within 5 minutes of meeting you, she’s a sex worker.”
Younger backpackers today seem a bit more conflicted.
And certainly a whole lot more discreet about paying for sex.
Unlike the open swagger of the middle-aged “sexpat” crowd in Pattaya or Angeles, Gen Z travellers are much less likely to boast openly about a brothel visit. “
Almost every male travelling to South East Asia does this,” insisted one drunk backpacker in Vietnam, trying to defend his brothel trip to a female traveler. But the stats and anecdotes tell a more nuanced story. Many do partake, certainly, but by no means all. “Out of the chaps I know, only 40–50% would pay for sex. Most won’t, as it’s pretty downgrading,” one traveller estimated.
Another insists: “I never got laid so much in my life… none of it through sex tourism,”
Reading between the lines… he was obviously banging his fellow travellers!
On the Banana Pancake Trail, there’s no shortage of budget-minded, horny young revellers who’d rather flirt over Chang beers than haggle the small print with a sex worker.
Beware The Scams (And STIs!)
For all the hedonistic appeal, there’s a serious side to backpacker sexual escapades: the very real risks to yourhealth and safety.
Getting lucky shouldn’t mean getting “Delhi belly” in your pants, so to speak.
Unfortunately, many party-goers – caught up in the moment under the tropical stars – throw caution (and condoms) to the wind. Studies consistently show that backpackers have a high rate of unprotected sex. In fact, in one survey, about two-thirds of young Australian travellers admitted to at least one bout of bareback sex on their trip.
Blame it on the booze all you want, dumb is dumb.
Southeast Asia, notably, has regions with elevated STI rates.
Thailand, to take our example, has long grappled with HIV. It’s said around 3.8% of new HIV cases among UK men in the 2000s were likely contracted there, which is quite a shocking number.
Seasoned hostels sometimes tack up posters about local STD clinics or hand out free condoms in reception bowls. A latex barrier is a pittance compared to the cost of a global Gonorrhea Tour 2025 in your bloodstream… but for some, alcohol and lust wins the argument.
And for some, there’s just pure bad luck:
Then there are the scams.
In some red light districts, networks of pickpockets and thieves target drunk tourists leaving brothels and hostels. A common Pattaya scam is a ladyboy sex worker who, if turned down after a flirtatious advance, might hug the tourist anyway – skillfully lifting his wallet in the process. Thank you very much, sir.
Another infamous scam involves a freelancer taking a tourist to his room, then her “cousin” conveniently knocking on the door mid-act – turns out, the cousin is an enforcer demanding an exorbitant payout or they’ll call the cops on the foreigner for solicitation.
It’s easy to see why backpackers stick together with lovers like this.
At the end of the day, apps may have rewritten the backpacker playbook, letting you swipe your way to sunset cocktails and “preloaded” hookups… but the fundamentals haven’t changed all that much.
Young travellers still land in Bangkok or Bali hungry for adventure (and each other), chasing the same thrills us old-timers hunted decades ago.
Gen Z might do it differently… quietly, digitally, discreetly … but the hedonism lives on. And with it, inevitably, the cautionary tales, the awkward texts, and the hungover trips to local clinics.
Enjoy your travels. And never underestimate the price of a free hostel condom. 😉
